Tuesday, July 1, 2014

11 Truths About Best Friends

Best friends. It’s a concept many try to explain and define. For many of us in our mid-twenties, we have seen friends come and go. We have considered many friends who were not. But, we have seen those who have stuck by our sides—regardless of time passed, miles between us, or other factors.

For me, those who are best friends are the ones who I can count on for certain things, the ones with whom I’ve had certain experiences.

They get my jokes, and I get theirs. Regardless of how long it’s been since we’ve talked, I know that my friends are the ones who will get that those random movie lines, memes, or inside jokes that I choose to text when the moment is right. Similarly, when they send me funny articles or videos of random people they saw in Walmart, I’ll laugh like I would have if we were seeing the sight in person. We get each other, we know what the other one appreciates, and we have similar senses of humor. It’s just a friend thing.

They are there for me in the good times and vice versa.  I got a bonus at work. You passed a test. I had a great date. You got a promotion. Whatever it is, we know that we can celebrate together. No matter what is going on in the other’s world, we’ll toast to you—long distance or in person.

I can count on to them empathize with me, and I can empathize with their life situations.  If one of us is hurting, has suffered a breakup, or has been through something that makes us question our worth, we can count on the other to pick us up. A bottle of wine, a Skype session, or even providing a song perfect for the situation, we’re on it. We’ve got this covered, and we’re ready to rock. Whether it’s offering the truthful statement that “they don’t deserve you,” or if it’s offering support and sympathy, we’re there. We will always be there.

If this is what the other needs, we're happy to be of assistance! 

However, over a pint of Ben & Jerry's, we can discuss what the other one is worth!

Together, we’ve made bad decisions.  We’ve had those moments when we’ve both drank too much, crossed some lines, or done things we shouldn’t have. We’ve seen each other at our worst, but there’s not judgment. Instead, there’s love, and there’s a good story in there somewhere. Together, we’ll tell the stories of the stupid things one—or both of us—has done, or we’ll keep the secrets with a sly smile anytime a subject reminds us of the story. Either way, we’ve grown and learned from these situations.
We know the good, the bad, and the ugly!

We can offer the perfect song to get the other through a given situation.  The fact of the matter is that we know the situation at hand. Without even speaking half of the time, we know what the other is actually feeling about a situation, and can offer up a song to download off of iTunes that accurately depicts the sentiments the other feels without the other actually having to admit our true feelings.

Instinctively, we know what the other needs.  Whether it’s a wine session, a walk in the park, lunch, a chance to talk about that ex we should be over, a pint of ice cream, a beer, a night on the town or on the prowl, or a mindless comedy to forget, we just know what the other is afraid to ask for. We know when the other needs that pick-me-up text or just a night to not think, and we’re happy to offer it. You’re there for me, and I’m there for you. For my friends who are miles apart, it’s like they can just tell when I need something.

We can just tell what the other needs, and we're happy to help however we can!

We’ve seen each other at our worst.  Hungover. No makeup. No pretention. We’ve seen the worst. We don’t judge or think any less. We are friends, and true friends love each other at their best and their worst. For those I’m closest to, I know that, even if I choose to show up in a ball cap, jeans, yesterday’s t-shirt, and no makeup, I’ll be met with acceptance. I’ll always accept them at the same. Appearances cease to matter at the point of true friendship.

We’ve seen each other at our best and will always push each other to that point.  We know what the other is capable of. We know each other’s talents, and we’ll always encourage each other to reach our full potential. No matter what is going on, we know what the other is capable of, and we’ll fight for who you can be. Whether it’s a pep talk you need or a reminder of who you are, we can offer it. We’ll do it for each other when you need it the most. My best friends are those who know my dreams, my hopes, and my goals, and who will not let me forget them—no matter what happens.

We know what the other needs, what the other is capable of accomplishing, and we'll make sure the other knows this. Friends are reminders of what we are worth! 

They can use my family’s names as descriptors.  They know me and my weaknesses, but they also know my family. Having been raised together, my best friends can use my family members’ names as verbs, adverbs, and adjectives. They can ask me if I’m acting like a certain family member or call me by one of the names, and we’ll both know what it means.

They know my weaknesses, and I know theirs.  Some of us tend to fall too hard. Some of us drink too much and dance too freely. Some of us overthink things. Some of us don’t think enough. Whatever your weakness is, your best friends know. Mine know, and will remind me when I’m doing something to the excess. When I’m creating a problem or when I’m trying to perfect things that can’t be anything but imperfect, my best friends will call me on it and direct me to another outlet.

They tell me the truth—whether I want to hear it or not.   Rather it’s about a shirt I want to buy or someone I want to date, they’re not afraid to give me an honest opinion, and I’ll always offer them the same. After all, we want the best for the other.

The fact of the matter remains that best friends are hard to find, and that they are the true values in life. I love all of my best friends, and I appreciate them for the wonders that they bring into my life. They help me learn more about my life and challenge me daily. They are the ones with whom I can always be real, with whom I can always tell the truth, and with whom I can be me—regardless of what that may look like. They are, truly, the chocolate chips of life! 

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